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  • #Mercy Ministries #Mercy Survivors #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 2 days ago
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A Message to Anyone Who Supports Mercy Ministries

I really cannot stand that Mercy residents, sponsors and supporters who have this attitude about them that it’s okay for Mercy to hurt some girls, as long as they help others. It’s okay for them to be abusive towards some girls as long as others turn out alright.

It’s actually really common for abusive people to pick one person to take the brunt of the abuse and at Mercy things are kept very secret, so you would never see it. Your roommate could have been that woman. Your friend could have been that woman. And I don’t understand why this is excusable, because they helped you? 

It’s called scapegoating, 

Aggression, the use of force against another human being, is always present in scapegoating. As Elizabeth A. Kaspar says, “The aggressive person is one who tries to dominate others. Aggressiveness, too, can take several forms. The aggressive person is frequently rude and humiliating, (e.g., “What do you mean, you aren’t going to do it?”), or the aggressive person can become self-righteous (e.g., “I am only insisting on this for your own good.”), or she/he can resort to being manipulative (e.g., “If you refuse, what will everyone think of you?”).”

It seems as if we humans as a species seem to need someone to vent our anger on and make wrong. Scapegoating is a projection defense. It is the ego saying “If I can put the blame on you, I don’t have to recognize and take responsibility for the negative qualities in myself. What I can’t stand about myself, I really hate in you and have to attack you for it in order to deny that I have the same quality.”

"Scapegoating is a hostile social - psychological discrediting routine by which people move blame and responsibility away from themselves and towards a target person or group. It is also a practice by which angry feelings and feelings of hostility may be projected, via inappropriate accusation, towards others. The target feels wrongly persecuted and receives misplaced vilification, blame and criticism; he is likely to suffer rejection from those who the perpetrator seeks to influence. Scapegoating has a wide range of focus: from very large groups of people down to the scapegoating of individuals by other individuals. 

In scapegoating, feelings of guilt, aggression, blame and suffering are transferred away from a person or group so as to fulfill an unconscious drive to resolve or avoid such bad feelings. This is done by the displacement of responsibility and blame to another who serves as a target for blame both for the scapegoater and his supporters.”

In so far as the process is unconscious it is more likely to be denied by the perpetrator. In such cases, any bad feelings - such as the perpetrator’s own shame and guilt - are also likely to be denied. Scapegoating frees the perpetrator from some self-dissatisfaction and provides some narcissistic gratification to him. It enables the self-righteous discharge of aggression. Scapegoaters tend to have extra-punitive characteristics [Kraupl-Taylor, 1953]. ….On another view, scapegoaters are insecure people driven to raise their own status by lowering the status of their target …”

[1]

Mercy Ministries staff members are not all trained on how to be subjective with the women in the program. They aren’t trained about transference and what should happen if that came up. A lot of them are not trained at all. And most of all they have very few people keeping them accountable. There are no on site doctors, etc. A lot of the time if you go to authority with a problem with staff you are told to just work it out, there is no intervention. It’s automatically assumed that it’s the clients fault, because the staff are women of God and could not possibly be abusive. There is no way you can lodge a grievance, there is no grievance procedure.

I have heard a lot of really terrible stories come out of Mercy Ministries. Some very sad stories, most of which do not make themselves public. But some of us do. And there are some girls who came out of Mercy not being targeted and they cut themselves off from Mercy Ministries, because of the stories that they heard. I admire those girls, I really do. And I admire the sponsors who did too. LG and TWLOHA come to mind. 

How can you so blindly just be okay with that? How can you be okay that some girls are being targeted and harmed? I was treated very poorly at Mercy Ministries by some staff members, and to this day I’m not exactly sure why. I feel that for a long time at Mercy I followed the rules to a T, and then just gave in, because I couldn’t please them. I feel that at some point I was an easy target. And maybe there are reasons that are very personal to staff that I will never know. They scapegoated me a lot. When they kicked me out instead of saying something like, “this just didn’t work out”. They told me how I was manipulative, rebellious,didn’t follow God’s plan for my life and how I didn’t work the program. It was all my fault. Despite all that they did wrong. I constantly felt rejected by them, no matter what I did I would never be accepted by certain staff members. 

I can still remember the day I got so upset and asked the head of counseling why she was so rough on me as opposed to other girls and she answered me. “You entered a psychiatric ward, of course I’m more rough on you”. I entered a psychiatric ward 2 weeks into my stay, because I was so suicidal. Again I did not understand why this meant she had to be more mean to me. She was even scapegoating a reason to be mean to me and making it my fault. YOU were in a psychiatric ward, so that gives me permission to be mean to you. It wasn’t even logical. I was clearly sick. 

When people tell me that they were treated nicely there I am shocked. That’s impossible. Why was I treated so poorly? Some staff members were good to me. I will not lie about that. I found safety in some of them and terror in others. To the point where I would avert all eye contact and stare at the floor. Unfortunately I felt that the staff members who scapegoated me the most, had the most power. 

And then I hear stories about other girls who were defiant, refused to eat, and did all this other really horrible stuff and they “loved on them and told them about Jesus”. Is that code for “love equals discipline” and by “told them about Jesus” they actually told them about how much they were sinning? Or was I different for some reason? I mean there were girls there that were far more defiant then I was and they never acted towards them like they did me. They accepted them. I constantly questioned, what was wrong with me? But it wasn’t what was wrong with me. It was what was wrong with them. 

And I hear it over and over again. The same thing. They target someone and they choose her to take down. And then you’re sitting there saying “it didn’t happen to my friend, it didn’t happen to me, so they’re perfect”. 

So when a mother locks a child in a closet, and takes care of the other two, is she still a good mother?  

I mean these stories are real. Nobody made them up. Nobody exaggerated. It’s a common theme in each one. Dozens of stories, and you’re still supporting them? And there are dozens more that haven’t come forward. I don’t get it. I really just do not get why you’re not asking for change of some type? With anything else in this world you would be at their door step telling them to shape up. Don’t stop because this place helped you. They hurt others. And that’s not right.

It wasn’t just “hurt” some of us are still disabled, years later from the PTSD. Some of us still cannot look people in the eye. Some of us are still terrified of authority. Some of us hear a Hillsong  song and we quivver. Some of us are so afraid we don’t talk about it at all. Some of us still have panic attacks. Some would run the other way if we saw Mercy Ministries Staff members. We live in a house built with brick and we don’t trust anyone to knock it down. Some of us never dated again, never got close to anyone, were never able to trust another therapist. I could keep going.  

It’s not common sense. It’s not rational. Think about it.

Here’s some that are public. American Stories. But there are many, many, more of which I have heard or am shocked by daily.

Had I not been abused and allowed myself to be open enough to hear stories of the girls who were abused, I would never be able to live with the guilt of supporting Mercy Ministries. But we all have our demons. You can chose yours. I’m not forcing you stop supporting them, it’s clearly your decision, this is just maybe a other side of the tracks story. 

http://thetruthaboutmercy.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/lizs-story/

http://thetruthaboutmercy.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/poems-by-a-former-mercy-ministries-resident/

http://thetruthaboutmercy.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/hopes-mercy-ministries-story-from-seantheblogonaut-com/#more-44
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  • #Mercy Ministries #scapegoating #abuse #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 2 days ago
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Falling Out Of Recovery After Mercy Ministries

Macklemore wrote this song about his addiction and it reminded me of my time after Mercy Ministries. He says in this song how he relapses and his first worst fear is admitting it to himself, and his second worst fear is admitting it to his family/friends. 

He says that the whole world put him on a pedestal, used his success story for all these drug addicts and now he’s failing and it reminded me so much of Mercy Ministries’ women. Mercy puts their stories out into the community and at some point these people feel they have to get over their addictions/eating disorders/etc for others. But Macklemore doesn’t want to lie to his fans about where he’s at, he says. 

"But I’d rather live telling the truth and be judged for my mistakes
Than falsely held up, given props, loved and praised. “

He talks about how worried he is that people will call him or his story a lie. Or that people will abandon him, but comes to the conclusion that nobody will leave. Or at least nobody that will matter. 

I translated this slightly. From rap to English. :)

Those 3 plus years, I was so proud of
And I threw them all away for two Styrofoam cups
The irony, everyone will think that he lied to me
Made my sobriety so public, there’s no privacy
If I don’t talk about it then they think I carry a sobriety date
08-10-08, but now it’s been changed

Everybody wants to put me in some box as a saint that I never was,
It’s like the false prophet that never came
And will they think that everything that I’ve written has all been fake?
Or will I just take this slip up to the grave?


Uh, what  are my parents gonna say?
The success story that got his life together and changed?
And you know what pain looks like
When you tell your dad you relapsed and look him directly into his face
The seat on your shoulder’s, the seemingly heavy weight

Haven’t seen tears like this on my girlfriend
The trust that I once built’s has been betrayed
But I’d rather live telling the truth and be judged for my mistakes
Than falsely held up, given props, loved and praised. 
I guess I have to get this on the page

Feeling sick and helpless, I lost myself
I know what I have to do and I can’t help it
One day at a time is what they tell us
Now I have to find a way to tell them

God help them
Yeah, one day at a time is what they tell us
Now I have to find a way to tell them

We fall so hard
Now we have to get back what we lost
I thought you would leave
But you were with me all along.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af3sQ7jyWrs - There’s strong language. It is a rap. I removed the strong language for my page. 

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  • #Mercy Ministries #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 3 days ago
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Dear Nancy Alcorn in Response to Your Video.

There is this video of Nancy Alcorn that I somehow missed from two months ago. In the video she goes on to explain how people have written bad things about her and how it was just a misunderstanding and how we should just agree to disagree. 

This is the transcription of the video

I just want to talk to you about a time in my life where it was really just kind of tough. You get busy in Ministry and you love people and you talk about the love of God and the love of Jesus and you just feel like everything is wonderful and then all of a sudden one day you realize that somebody writes a bad article about you or someone says negative things about you that aren’t true and you get hit with the hurt and pain of that or there’s misunderstanding maybe between you and another fellow Christian. There side of the the story is different from your side story, there’s so many things that can happen.

And you know we need to remember that were all children of God and Christ was misunderstood and if we are going to be like him we need to understand and know that the Bible says that those who live godly in Christ Jesus that there are times they’re going to be persecuted, there’s times they’re going to be misunderstood, there’s times they’re going to be spoken evil of, or wrong of or whatever. You know there’s a great temptation, it’s in in a human being that we want to defend ourselves when we’re falsely accused.

And yet God says that if we will allow him to that he will be our defense and I think it’s during those times that we see what were really made of. That we have an opportunity to grow and really trust God. I Probably am one of the people that really dislike that scripture bless those who say things about you, curse you, it says bless and curse not. And you know when I first read that, I wanted frankly, I just wanted to rip that page out of the Bible because it just didn’t feel like what I wanted to do.

 I found out the hard way that it we will just follow God and do things his way that he will be our defense, he can defend us far better than we can defend ourselves. if we bless people who we have misunderstandings with, you know, human beings have misunderstandings and we just need to grant people Grace and we need to grant forgiveness and we need to deal with our own offenses and we need to make sure that we don’t hold any unforgiveness toward anyone and just release people and realize that we’re all imperfect humans trying to do a perfect work for God and those who live godly in Christ Jesus at times will be persecuted and spoken evil of. If were doing something for God, it is part of the plan, so I just want to encourage you to take in that situation just know that God loves you and he loves all the people involved on the other side of the equation and that it’s so important for us to to agree to disagree so that we can have unity in the body of
Christ





1. You’ve been targeted? You’re the victim? Are you serious?  Really? 

2. Misunderstanding? Would you care to email me, so we can work this out? ThePinkPropaganda@gmail.com 

3. I’m not sure if you’re talking to us or someone else/ sponsor through this that prompted the making of this video and the removal of your blog “Nancy Alcorn Sets the Record Straight”. (OH Nevermind I know who you were talking to). 

4. When I’m falsely accused of something I often laugh it off. I have no real desire for a deep seated need of approval of others and quite honestly you shouldn’t either. 

5. That’s probably what got me kicked out of Mercy, not my inability to follow God’s plan for my life. I didn’t care about bowing to staff. 

6. Is this the closest thing we’re going to get to an admittance of wrongdoing unless you’re forced? “that we’re all imperfect humans trying to do a perfect work “

7. Are you saying that nobody can speak wrong of you or your ministry, ever, without it being just a simple “misunderstanding”?

8. I doubt that you were just doing God’s work and then one day realized you were being spoken badly of, you have a need to defend yourself, so you have a need to know what’s being said.

9. I’m sorry but we worship different Gods. My God would be ashamed of you. 

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  • #Nancy Alcorn #Mercy Ministries #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 4 days ago
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  • 5 days ago
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Dear Mercy Ministries’ Staff Members

Dear Mercy Ministries Staff, 

I never wanted to write you a letter. I never wanted to address you specifically. I never felt that I owed you any explanations or that I would accept any from you. And I guess there can be two different kinds of staff members. I don’t know what has happened since 2008. But this letter is towards those of you who sit behind your computers and call me bitter and unforgiving. 

You see I’m not writing you this letter to give you any explanations for my actions. You won’t receive that here. I’m not embarrassed of what I’ve done, even though you think I should be ashamed. 

How dare you call me manipulative. How dare you blame me for your failure. I was mentally ill. I needed in house psychiatrists and therapists with degrees and encouragement to stay on my medications and don’t tell me your God can heal everything and that if he didn’t heal me I wasn’t following his plan for my life.  Our Gods must be different. 

When somebody you love gets sick with lupus or diabetes or cancer I hope you don’t stand over them and cast spirits out of them. I hope you don’t call them attention seekers. I hope you don’t scold them for every possible thing imaginable. 


I used to sit on those steps all the time and just stare through the railings. At what point in your mind did you think “we can help this girl”? Was it before or after I got back from the psychiatric ward? At what point do you say “this is demons” and “this is chemical”. Because I feel like you have no idea. 

Do you understand what your material offers? Over and over and over again before we come to the program we are told multiple times how Mercy Ministries is a last resort. How only desperate young woman come here. How you make people all better. I was so scared to leave you, I thought I was going to die. 

You gave me four hours to pack my things and get out.it. I had to leave right then. You didn’t even let me say goodbye to my friends. People I would never talk to again. I didn’t even cry on the way home, I was so numb. If you weren’t going to help me then clearly I was going to die. I would have never left Mercy willingly, as many times as I wanted to, I was terrified to die. 

Even knowing how suicidal I naturally was, you placed a ton of leftover medication in the front pocket of my suitcase. You practically handed me a suicide attempt. 

You were wrong. 

Don’t tell me to forgive and move on. I never received an apology. Don’t call me bitter or resentful, you’re making up excuses as to why you sucked at your job. Don’t make this my fault. Don’t point out my flaws to over ride the shitty job you did. Take responsibility not just for me, but for dozens of other girls that are calling you out. I don’t need to hear your apology. I don’t want to be your friend. But own what you did, at least in your own heart.

- Me

Oh child has my love no longer the power to melt your heart
have you been driven away by those who have claimed to know me
but were filled with the hypocrisy and greed and drunk with the stench of a dead faith
let the dead bury the dead
let ignorance reproduce itself until it’s wary with its own offspring
this is between you and me
come back all is forgiven.
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  • #Nancy Alcorn #Mercy Ministries #Mental Health #Mental Illness #nami #Mercy Survivors #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 1 week ago
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It’s time to stop being afraid of Mercy Ministries’ Staff Members

I probably cannot tell you the number of people who have confessed the fear that envelopes them to be near Mercy Ministries staff after leaving the program. I am fortunate to have lived so far away. 

It’s odd that I find this fear to be more prominent among those of us who have spoke out against Mercy, then those of us who are still with Mercy. 

I often wonder if it’s because we feel that we are not perfect. That we have something to be ashamed of. That we have spoken up and spoken out and not followed the rules. That underneath it all we are still standing back at Mercy, waiting in the hallway for the staff to come out and punish us for our actions. 

We didn’t follow Mercy’s rules. I mean, ultimately we betrayed them. At least in their eyes it’s seen this way. And in our minds, that have been torn down and built back up to worship Mercy, we see it this way too. 

But it’s time to change. It’s time to take back our minds. It’s time to stop being afraid. It’s time to realize that what some of those staff members did, they should be hanging their heads when they walk past us. Not the other way around. 

If they made you feel low for small things, don’t let them. If they told you, you were manipulative, rebellious, not following Gods plan. If they made it clear you were sinning. If they pointed out every flaw you made and called you a hypocrite. If they called you an attention seeker, a fool. If they ever told you you weren’t working hard enough, when you couldn’t possibly work any harder. If they condemned you for things you did in your past, or made you feel small for things you wanted to do in your future. They did the same to me. 

You were sick, you went there for a reason, and maybe you even made mistakes. Mistakes happen, everybody makes them. Nobody is perfect.  I made mistakes. Anyone who claims to have not made mistakes is lying. Stop running over them time and time again, about what YOU could have done differently. What could they have done differently? Blaming yourself over and over again, for something that is not your fault. How could they have educated themselves on your mental illness, or your sexuality, or your condition?

Did you betray them or did they betray you? 

Take your mind back. It’s time to stop being afraid. 

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  • #Mercy Ministries #Fear of Mercy Ministries #Mercy Ministries Survivors #Mercy Ministries Scandal
  • 1 week ago
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